I’m Moving

Dear Readers,

 

Well, you’re really just regular people who happen to be reading at this particular moment. I mean, you do other stuff too. You don’t just sit around and read all day… not that it would be a bad thing if you did. Let’s put it this way though, if you died your tombstone wouldn’t say, “Here rests Blanky McBlankerson, reading extraordinaire.” That would be silly.

 

Anyway, I’m rambling in an attempt to delay the mildly bad news so here it goes…

 

Wife and I are moving back to the US.

 

 

It’s a good thing we have help. We have a lot of boxes.

 

I’ll update when I can, but between moving to another continent and searching for a job that’s not in the adult film industry, I’ll be very preoccupied.

 

I’ll still respond to comments and update the store when I can.

 

Sincerely,

 

The underwhelmer

 

P.S. Don’t be sad. I’ll be making funnies on the interwebs again before you know it.

 

P.P.S. Here, I made you a Joseph Ducreux meme to get you through the day. Enjoy.

 

 

 

 

 

I am a Video Game Savant

I believe that each person in the world has at least one thing that they’re naturally inclined to be good at. Some people can make the world weep with joy by simply putting paint to canvas. Others can craft architectural wonders that will last throughout the ages.

Sadly, I am not one of those people.  My gift is video games. I am like the Rain Man when it comes to video games.

To put this into perspective, I beat Super Mario Brothers before I made my first friend.

That’s what I did for years. I played nearly every game I could get my hands on.

I still play some games to this day, but I’ve run into some issues in the past few years. You see, I grew up playing games that were exceedingly difficult. The games back then didn’t have the programming technology to include nice things like save features, a decent plot, freedom of choice or an overall length of more than a couple of hours. Instead, the game developers of yesteryear made each game contain a punishing difficulty so you couldn’t beat it easily and therefore had to play it longer.

Games back then were a little psychotic too. Due to all the plot shortcomings, your character was often a loner who killed scores of people/ monsters for unclear reasons.

Modern video games, on the other hand, have now introduced freedom of choice and show the player the impact of their decisions. Unfortunately, I still have this ingrained tendency to play today’s games as if they were yesteryear’s. I go in, sword in hand, and kill everything with frightening speed and efficiency. Sometimes I get a little carried away and this often backfires on me.

This is all well and good until modern gaming shows me the consequences of my actions.

And then we are all killed by a swarm of werebeavers and I feel like a terrible person to boot.

THE END.

P.S. The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim is out.

P.P.S I most definitely brought my subconscious campaign of irrational genocide to that magical universe.