I got up this morning, made my coffee and sat at my writing desk, as is my usual Sunday ritual. My desk has a nice window view toward my neighborhood. I get to write and draw for hours while watching my neighbors do normal human things. There’s nothing like observing people interacting with each other outside on a bright, sunny day to remind me of how much of a creepy hermit I’ve become since I’ve started writing.
As I typed in my underpants, I noticed two ten-year-old boys sitting on the curb (stop thinking what you’re thinking you damned perverts) and they were both staring at their smart phones, presumably texting each other.
It was a beautiful day outside; why were they on their phones?. They’re frigging ten… why do they have smart phones in the first place? Shouldn’t they be chasing each other, throwing a ball or attaching fireworks to small animals?
I started thinking about how shitty it would be to re-live my childhood in 2013. I’m glad that I grew up in that VHS inspired, color saturated fashion apocalypse that was the early 90s. To illustrate how awesome this special period of time was to me, I’ve decided to put together a multi-part series showcasing, through charts and graphs, the ridiculous things that made being a kid in the 90s simply awesome. And with that, I give you an analysis of that wondrous material crafted by the fun-gineers over at Nickelodeon, Gak.
THE END
P.S. My neighbors keep looking back at me.
P.P.S. Better put some pants on.
Live, Nerd, Repeat 
Hahah, the 90’s… Ahhh, glad I don’t really much remember those years. ‘Cept for the later 90s. Even those were pretty awful, to me, because.. Well.. Come on, Y2K! That was some exciting stuff to live through.
But, I had a good chuckle at your comments about what you saw out your window. I feel the same way and find myself hiding, as best I can, behind the mini blinds when stalking in my underthings.
Oh, Gak… I haven’t thought about that in years! Thanks for bringing back those memories, particularly the fart sounds of shoving Gak in its container.
On a more serious note, thinking back on my childhood, I can also say that I am very happy that I didn’t live my childhood in 2013. I will ensure that my children have no devices to take outside: just a ball and some firecrackers.
Now they have a new product called Flarp. Its only purpose in life is to sound like loud gas.
Gak? May I ask what Gak is? Please don’t shun me, I was born in the early 90’s but Gak doesn’t resonate with me at all? Never mind, I just googled it… Hahaha I don’t think was lucky enough to have Gak. Play-doh on the other hand, oh I had Play-doh. Surely that counts for something?
I’m more of an 80s kid… but loved the 90s too. I sure do miss playing outside. I feel sad for kids these days…. they don’t know how to play outside and just have fun.
P.S. Loved Nickelodeon too… well, until now. 😛
I grew up in the 60’s so didn’t have the opportunity to play with Gak, (unless you count that stuff I was constantly digging out of my nose) but it sure do sound like something I’d have loved (I mean, green and gooey with nasty bits embedded in it… yum!)
Oh how I loved Gak! My favorite part was hiding it in my fist and then pretending I sneezed it all over my little brother! Good times 🙂
I still regret never getting to be on Legends of a Hidden Temple.
Ahh! Yes, the early 90’s were the best time to be a kid.
The 90s were amazing. I remember waking up early every Saturday, sneaking downstairs, and turning the TV on for the one thing I lived for: Saturday morning cartoons. The good ones. Not like today’s cartoons which kill my brain when I see the commercials, to be honest. After that it was banishment outside for play in the backyard. It was amazing and wonderful.
Today’s kids are too indoors. It’s sad.
I agree that the older cartoons were better! The ones on Saturday mornings now stink! Give me some Bug’s Bunny or Tom and Jerry. Maybe a sprinkle of Grape Ape and Captain Caaaaaave Man for good measure.
Definitely!! I love the channel on my TV that shows old cartoons before they became really stupid.
And just as much as I loved Gak, there was Floam. Do you remember Floam? I so wanted to be on Legends of the Hidden Temple as well as Double Dare. Amazing shows!! I bet Mark Somers misses hosting that show more than anything he’s ever done in his life. I feel it.
Loved this post!!
Reblogged this on 2 Getting There and commented:
I heart the 90s
Aaaah the 90s 🙂 true post!
I also heart the 90s
I was born in 1990. When people say ’10 years ago’, I keep thinking they’re talking about the ’90s. Why am I so old, and decrepid, and covered in slime, all of a sudden?
Nice you find inspiration just outside the window.
And you are very handsome 🙂 haha
I LOVE GAK! I was a bit of a Gak connoisseur, if you will. I had the buttered popcorn scented one. I licked it once to see what it tasted like and I wish to God I hadn’t. And if I dropped my Gak on the carpet- forget it. It would have more hair on it than my cat. I still loved it though, almost as much as I loved my Pogs.
Hi, like your stuff. The underlying reason for me following you is:
there is seriously something wrong with you and I LIKE IT!!!! lol
Love it! here hear! can so relate…bring me a VHS over blu ray any day. To think my last child will be researching those in high school history class someday … ;(
I’m glad that I grew up in that VHS inspired, color saturated fashion apocalypse that was the early 90s. – this line made my night! Thanks for the fun post.
Just discovering your blog. Awesome, hilarious, entertaining stuff, man!
Don’t forget the weird oil stains Gak used to leave on everything – preeeety sure I brought down the value of our house with those little splodged Gak circles. They looked like the oil stains from Soul Glo in Coming to America. . .
so true and relatable. Being a 90s kid rules!
I grew up in the 80s but being a teen in the 90s still appeals to me more than being a kid in 2013. It’s not just smartphones, but tablet computers, and possibly some competition for the next top model/ singer/ beauty queen. Brrrrr.
Reblogged this on Ren Unscrambled.