Wife and I were talking about parenting techniques last night. I concluded that my ideas are sometimes a bit more radical than hers. We don’t have any kids, but today I was thinking about how I’d teach them about Easter and I imagine that it would go something like this… enjoy.
*I don’t know why I’m blonde in these cartoons, but I am for some reason or another.
P.S. I’m pretty sure this makes me a bad person… or an awesome one. I’m not really sure. Somewhere along the course of my life, I’ve lost the ability to tell the difference.
P.P.S. Have a Happy Easter and be sure to find all the eggs… or else.
And I’d always figured trolls were mammals. No wonder my mammal-killing techniques never worked! I’ll stick to stakes and torches from now on. Thanks, Underwhelmer!
They’re an offshoot of the platypus so they have this weird cross-over thing going on. Anyway, just be sure to use fire and wood. Works like a charm. 🙂
This cracked me up! Happy Easter!
You too. 🙂
You are awesome.
Alright then, that’s one for awesome and none (so far) for bad person.
Looks good to me. 🙂
Oh, but I don’t think any of your offspring would cry over something like that – she would prepare…
Get strong or die. That’s my parenting strategy. 😉
Is this not already the established Easter story? It’s like watching my childhood being played out in cartoon form.
Well, if I ever make any money off of this blog, I’ll have to pay you some royalties. 🙂
Just enough to pay for the therapy would be good.
haha oh my gosh!
Glad you like it. Be careful out there and have a Happy Easter. 🙂
I’ll call child services now. And save the school system the money and time that a counselor would have taken.
Love the cartoons! You crack me up!
Just a point of clarification – are we talking plastic eggs or real? 😉
It’s the real ones.
Plastic is safe; they just hatch the plastic troll dolls. Less deadly and more annoying than real trolls. 🙂
Oh, thank goodness. Wonderbutt will eat the plastic ones for me. I think he’d be afraid of the real ones, though.
Oh, and I’d kind of like to know before it gets any darker around here.
See previous. 🙂
Hilarious 😛 Happy Easter!
I’m pretty sure this makes you awesome.
I used to camp in the backyard with my brothers when I was a kid and my dad would warn us of bears, and then sneak out in the middle of the night and shake our tent and growl. Maybe you’re not a good parent unless you scare your kids into thinking that they’re going to die at least once?
it’s cute but meanie…just wishing i am not the mother of that child, or i will use the stake, pin you on the chair, and slllllooowwllllllyyyyy burn your butt…..or….have a jar of huge red ants crawl over you first before the burning….haha…Happy easter monster dad hahaha!!!
My dad told me to shoot it. I mean he’d taught me to shoot a threat when I was about five or six. The gun was very heavy. I needed to use both of my hands but I aimed at him very accurately as I thought he was such a threat at that time (he was drunk. But the gun was unloaded, anyway).
Glad that you’re not my father (or unfortunately?). It must be harder to use a stake and fire, the original and classic weapon. But I’m sure if you have a daughter, she will definitely grow up strong and tough.
Utterly brilliant! It’s like looking in a warped little mirror because stuff like this is what I would likely do to my own kids 😀
this is another one that I think you might appreciate! 🙂
I found your blog informative and engaging. For years I’ve been spending unnessasery money on a range of weapons, including battleaxes, lances and crossbows (there was even a catapult at one point) who knew I could be using a simple stake to ward off those annoying trolls… Well you, obviously.
Thanks for the money saving tip (and the great blog!)
Awesome. And evil. It’s the perfect mix.
LMFAO…. villainous hilarity! I love it.
They’re not that bad, really, the trolls. I let a couple hatch last Easter and now we’re best friends. They enjoyed reading your “misconceptions” though!! 🙂
Even more sinister is naming your child Chloe and spelling it “Clowie”
I’ve been thinking about a bloodthirsty easter bunny. It’s nice to know I’m not alone.
Great stuff man. Really satisfying.
I love it. I have a little girl so this is all more funny to me.
I think this makes you an awesome parent. But does that mean I’m a horrible person? 😛
This most certainly makes you awesome! People should send their children to you in boxes, so that you can teach them life-lessons such as this.
Just spat coffee on my keyboard! so funny, can’t wait to be a parent simply to play out this scenario (and I guess raising something that is essentially a part of me could be quite rewarding and what not as well)
Not sure why it took me so long to find this blog but I feel like I finally got asked to sit at the cool table.
hahahahahaha! this post is made of awesomeness!
This makes you an awesome person.
Just preparing the child for the real life of trolls.
Glad I came here!
Going through my back log of blog posts to read because I’ve been too self-centered in my own photography blog. OMG, I LOVE this post! I don’t have kids (never wanted any). Good thing I was at home when I read this because I laughed out loud with each cartoon (it would have been more than a little awkward to be laughing out loud at this post at work….know what I mean?)
Best dad ever! that kid would be so freaked out, haha. might have to do this when i get older….
As a parent, i probably would do the same thing. It just cracks me up how gullible younger people really are. I mean, if you are going to fall for something like that, I think you deserve it. So rock on!