I believe that each person in the world has at least one thing that they’re naturally inclined to be good at. Some people can make the world weep with joy by simply putting paint to canvas. Others can craft architectural wonders that will last throughout the ages.
Sadly, I am not one of those people. My gift is video games. I am like the Rain Man when it comes to video games.
To put this into perspective, I beat Super Mario Brothers before I made my first friend.
That’s what I did for years. I played nearly every game I could get my hands on.
I still play some games to this day, but I’ve run into some issues in the past few years. You see, I grew up playing games that were exceedingly difficult. The games back then didn’t have the programming technology to include nice things like save features, a decent plot, freedom of choice or an overall length of more than a couple of hours. Instead, the game developers of yesteryear made each game contain a punishing difficulty so you couldn’t beat it easily and therefore had to play it longer.
Games back then were a little psychotic too. Due to all the plot shortcomings, your character was often a loner who killed scores of people/ monsters for unclear reasons.
Modern video games, on the other hand, have now introduced freedom of choice and show the player the impact of their decisions. Unfortunately, I still have this ingrained tendency to play today’s games as if they were yesteryear’s. I go in, sword in hand, and kill everything with frightening speed and efficiency. Sometimes I get a little carried away and this often backfires on me.
This is all well and good until modern gaming shows me the consequences of my actions.
And then we are all killed by a swarm of werebeavers and I feel like a terrible person to boot.
THE END.
P.S. The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim is out.
P.P.S I most definitely brought my subconscious campaign of irrational genocide to that magical universe.
Live, Nerd, Repeat 
Love the illustrations! Hilarious!
I’m hoping to join the MS Paint Olympic Team one of these days. 🙂
Dark Souls dude, it’s amazing.
Hmm, another addiction eh? Don’t mind if I do. Thanks 🙂
One word……….. “WIN”
Haha. It’s good to see you on here! Glad you liked it.
Hahaha. So awesome. I love that you have a werebeaver portrait on your game room wall. I was wondering what that thing was.
I was raised on Baldur’s Gate and Neverwinter Nights, so I get bored by by most hack and slahsers. I just keep wondering where all the dialogue and plot consequences are.
Glad you like it. 🙂 The werebeavers have a special place in my heart. They make for a fun recurring character.
Most modern games have a lot of eye-candy, but they often skimp on plot and freedom of choice/ player input. I often find myself reloading Baldur’s Gate, Planescape, Fallout, etc. when I’ve had too much of Modern Fad Craze Shooter Hollywood Style Warfare 7 and its numerous clones.
I don’t allow myself to have any game consoles because I get way too addicted to games. I remember one summer when I was a kid when I did nothing but play Earthbound and Zelda nonstop everyday. I actually got up early in the mornings so I could get on the Super Nintendo before my brothers did. I was obsessed. I also have a Mac so I can’t buy PC games. It’s like the 12-step program from video game addicts.
I’ll resist the urge to attempt to bring you back over to the dark side by not mentioning all of the great Mac-friendly games that are out there. 😛
Earthbound was one of the greatest games ever made. I played that game until it stopped working. Luckily with emulators and roms I can enjoy it anytime I want.
Just don’t break the controller you towering man. 😉
It’s inevitable with my history. 😀
Company of Heroes. Rangers vs. Stugs. Who will win?
…….Stugs 😦
Awesome article dude.
Thanks. Battle of Cisterna, 1944 showed us that. Glad you like the post.
I’m no gamer, but I love the cartoons. Good luck with the Paint Olympics.
Haha. Thanks. 🙂
Hilarious illustrations.. good one!
Glad you like it. I’ll have a new one up tomorrow!
Love your open “nerdiness”. You know, nerds are becoming (or always were??) pretty cool nowadays. I loved watch Social Network. I found Zuckerberg to be very appealing in his straight up, intelligent, blunt, honest way. Some would call a guy like him a nerd for spending his time as he did. I found him VERY appealing.
ANYway, about your nerdiness – well written and gives me to smile 🙂
Nerd or not, one can’t argue with Mr. Zuckerberg’s success. Nerds have always been sprinkled throughout history. Ben Franklin, Leonardo da Vinci, Nikola Tesla… all HUGE nerds.
Glad you like my nerdy stuff and thanks for stopping by. 🙂
Heh. I’m currently a reformed gamer until maybe Diablo 3 comes out. We’ll see. My addiction usually revolved mostly around MMORPGs though. I can definitely empathize with the dialogue impatience.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, patience. How long will that take.” -Ed Gruberman
Ha. Awesome quote. I’ve somehow never heard that one before. Thanks for dropping in. 🙂
This was way funnier than the first one. Like Red Foreman says “Dumbass”. 🙂
Ha ha. Glad you like it. This scenario plays itself out in my life more often than I would like… well, not the dragon or were-beaver part, just the rest of it. 🙂
huahahhahahahahhaa…..
LMAO to read “we’re all going to die, u’re imbecile”
LOL 😀
I can’t remember what game it was, but I remember hearing that bit of dialogue, so I had to include it. 🙂
Werebeavers? Werebeavers?!
As a Canadian, I’m…dismayed…by your abuse of our national symbol. A little respect, man!
But a great post nonetheless.
Thank you. I’m glad you liked it. See my FAQ to see why I both love and promote the majestic beaver. 🙂
Video games rule! I just wish I had soe consiole skills….
Aw, that’s okay. Just do what I did play until your fingers bleed. 😛
Reblogged this on I'm Part of the Problem, My Problem is I'm Peaceful and commented:
Hilarious.
Aw, shucks. You shouldn’t have. 🙂
You are so seriously funny.
Why, thank you Monica. I’m just trying to convince Wife of the same. She’s got it in her head that I’m more annoying than funny… how ridiculous!
Seriously hilarious stuff! Can’t begin to tell you how much this sounded like me grumbling inside about the games back then vs the games now. 😀
Killer blog and your artwork has a nice sense of humour to it.
Cheers!
Thank you, Spider42. I can’t help but feel old when I’m like, “Back in my day, games were hard!” but it’s entirely true. They’re just not the same now. That’s mostly for the better, but there are some nostalgic features that I miss, or at the very least, remember in a much more positive light than is appropriate. 😛
I used to play video games alone too before I got friends. then I got friends and now we can all play together! Yay!!!
It’s a win-win for everybody! Hurray!
This is brilliant, you have given me my first actual laugh out loud on a blog 🙂 congrats on freshly pressed x
Without sounding like a creepy dude on the internet, I’m glad I could be your first.
That still sounded creepy didn’t it? I’m sorry. 😦
Seriously though, I really appreciate the words of encouragement. Thanks 🙂
Amazing drawings! Picture worth a thousand words and all that. I too game like there’s no tomorrow – I finished mario and contra before I was10. Though I needed to use the “30 lives” option for Contra…
Going on 30 years now and I’m still a major gamer. For me, it’s all about the power and the contrast to the real world where I’m pretty much a nobody. In the game world…well that’s a different story altogether 😀
I agree. The video game world is pretty awesome. Where else could you just randomly loot houses with the occupants still inside, sitting happily?
Thanks for stopping by. 😛
I came for your Freshly Pressed post, I stayed because you mentioned Skyrim.
I’m getting pretty deep into that game and it’s only a matter of time before it sucks me in and I stop bathing and sleeping. 🙂
I’ve really enjoyed scrolling through your posts -your sense of humour amuses me greatly. Your devastatingly simple drawings get across your jokes better than any complicated ones could. That was a compliment…well….it was meant to be.
Oh, and in case you haven’t seen it, this guy did a short, funny video about Skyrim: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsqiSknjHK8
If I hadn’t been buying it already, I would’ve been sold by this alone.
I’d be interested in seeing more of your video game exploits. Keep up the awesome work!
Thanks. I make the drawings bad on purpose, but I’ve made so many of them that they’re actually starting to border on “OK.”
That video is f*cking hilarious. Thank you for making my day better. 😛
Werebeaver is awesome
The werebeaver thinks you’re pretty swell too. 😉
BigCrowdAtTheCrazyHouse.wordpress.com
Yours is the first blog I ever read, so wanted you to be the first to know you inspired me to blog… so thought maybe you might want to follow me, out of pity if nothing else.. no no you were my INSPIRATION! yes, yes, that’s it.. the wind beneath my bloggin wings!!
Keep bein funny! You should write a book–or have you? You remind me of Augusten Burroughs.. he wrote Running with Scissors, Wolf at the Table.. my fave author..
thanks again.. Heather
Wow. I’m not sure how to respond to that. Thank you. That really means a lot. Well, let me be the first to say, “welcome to the blog community!”
I’ve flirted with the idea of writting a book, but we’ll see what happens. I’m currently in the process of switching careers, so I have to let the dust settle first.
Oh, and by the way, you have a new follower now. 😛
FTW! Awesome!
Thank you. I do what I can. 🙂
Reblogged this on Angelus Errare.
Wow, I’m glad you liked it so much.
Cheers! 😉
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