*Ok so this first part has nothing to do with bumper stickers.
I haven’t posted in a while, but it’s been for a good reason.
I’ve been in training for my new job and it’s been pretty intense. Despite having no medical background, I now am somehow advising physicians on cardiology products and procedures.
Scary right?
Anyway, I’ve been studying really hard to make sure I don’t have a hand in accidentally killing your Nana.
At this point, I’d like to note that my restoration magic skill isn’t very high.
Destruction magic is more my forte’. You can see how I don’t want this scenario playing out to its conclusion.
Back to our regularly scheduled program.
*Alright, this is the part where I talk about bumper stickers.
For those that don’t know, I’ve spent the past three years living in Germany. Now, I’m back in the US and I’m trying to get used to our crazy little culture all over again.
One thing that I’ve forgotten about Americans is that we’re under the impression that other people really want to know what we think… all the time.
I often find myself surrounded by the unsolicited opinions of others.
I think this tendency to share is best expressed in the bumper sticker concept.
Think about it. When someone attaches a bumper sticker to their car they’re saying, “Everyone who is blown by the winds of fate and winds up stuck behind my car NEEDS to see this. This makes me happy.”
Bumper stickers are seldom seen outside of the US, so I’ve decided to put together a handy sampling of bumper sticker translations for my fellow countrymen & women.
Here’s what your bumper stickers are really saying, enjoy.
THE END.
P.S. Bumper stickers are now available in the Underwhelmer Store.
P.P.S. If you clicked the link above, then you found that there were no bumper stickers in the store, only sadness… lonely, infinite sadness.
Live, Nerd, Repeat 
Hehehehe. The Granddogs one is so on-point. Now underwhelmer, you may need to up your destruction magic-you are going to need it for all the backlash this will generate
I’ve been working on it all week, but no backlash… I’m disappointed. 😦
Made me laugh out loud. Anything I can do to help with your restoration magic? Crystals, potions etc?
The College of Magic that I’m aligned with doesn’t allow performance enhancing drugs. 🙂
I love the bumper stickers but the first part where you tell the doctor to jam it in there made me snort. I want to hear more about this medical thingie.
I’m not sure what I can disclose or not, but hilarity ensues everyday at work… mostly because I’m a walking disaster, but it sounds like I know what I’m talking about.
Dude – you need less training. The less you know, the less guilt you’ll have. I thought you already knew that…
Also, it is making you awfully pessimistic. Bumper stickers are great! I love them. How else will I identify my enemies?
(By the way, your store is awesome.)
Good points all around tmso. I did have a big tall glass of negativity that morning.
“I disregard your reality and substitute my own”.
🙂
That’s my standing motto. 🙂
Well, I’m right up there with the “…divorced from humanity” part and the identifying more with dogs. I think dogs make better people than people do, actually.
agreed. I think if you had one as a pet, you will understand more.
At least they still have their innocence.
Welcome back to the blog-sphere! Glad to see more funny people updating, keep up the good work.
😀
You bring up the exact reasons that I DO NOT have bumper stickers on my car!
Well then, you rock.
Truth. I AM damn awesome.
No argument here. 😀
Posts like this are why I love your blog so.
Thank you. *bows deeply*
Love from Kanata (Canada). No kidding was gonna check ur site 2day cuz haven’t heard ne thing for a bit, agree w/ other person more about your medical thingie too, i’m intrigued.
Haha… more on my new job. It’s interesting.
this was phenomenal! glad to have you back.
Glad to be back. 🙂
This is hilarious. Thanks for making me laugh!
You’re welcome.
Those are amazing! I hate bumper stickers, but I might actually use one of those!
Maybe I should make some on Zazzle?
Reblogged this on Aericora's Blog and commented:
So far one of the funniest! They should make these real bumper stickers.
Hmmm… that gives me an idea.
This post is so f*****g hilarious. I literally just burst out laughing. Thanks, its been a rubbish day and I really needed this.
You’re welcome. 😀
The only bumper-stickers I’ve been even mildly tempted to purchase and place on the car are of the zombie hunting permit and Umbrella Corp variety. But, recognizing that the helping the zombie trope to proliferate in a society filled with chemically lobotomized denizens was far too depressing, I decided against it.
Yeah, even cool things become stupid once everyone jumps on the bandwagon.
I clicked the link and got my dose of lonely, infinite sadness for the day. Thanks, underwhelmer!
Good to see that the link works. 🙂
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Reblogged this on Wingza's Blog and commented:
So I follow this dude. I thought I would reblog as it made me giggle… and yes bumperstickers fail… hard.
Gotta agree. Definitely gonna follow this guy from now on.
Thank you, thank you. 😀
Hahahaha omigod I hate those alumni stickers so much. Why do you need to let everyone know which douchey school you went to, exactly?
But honestly, why not?
I might as well have a sticker that says my kid likes the color purple…. no one cares.
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My companion and My partner and i stumbled above here different web site and thought I should check things out. I similar to what I see so i am just following anyone. Look ahead to overlooking your website repeatedly.
Clap Clap Clap. You should be given an award for funniest blogger. 🙂
Reblogged this on hshannon13 and commented:
lol definitely true!