A Major Award(s)

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Over the past few weeks, I’ve experienced a huge boost to my usual traffic. My readership has grown to over ten times its original size and I’ve somehow received more blogging awards than I can shake a stick at.

I honestly didn’t expect to get so much support out there from both the blogging community and casual readers. You guys have really been great. This leaves me in an awkward situation though. Several of the awards that I’ve received require that I share things about myself. I normally don’t have a problem with this because I’m vain and shallow, but I currently work for an organization that I can only refer to only as, “my shadowy puppet masters.”

You see, the shadowy puppet masters have several rules regarding what I can and can’t say about my occupation. I’ve recently received two Versatile Blogger Awards. The award requires that I thank the person who gave it to me, list seven things about myself, and then nominate up to fifteen other bloggers to receive the award.

Now… since I’ve received the Versatile Blogger Award twice, I’ll list 14 things about myself, but only some of the things will be true. It’s up to you to decide what’s bunk and what’s fact. This way, my shadowy puppet masters stay happy and you guys get to know a little more about me… kinda.

So here we go. First off, thank you Kara for picking me to receive the award. It’s an honor. Thank you too, The Background Story for nominating me for the award as well. I really am flattered to know that you guys both thought enough about my crazy blog to give me this award.

Now, drum roll please, here are some things about me.

  • One time, I stayed awake for five days straight. The hallucinations got bad at the end of day four.

  • In 2005, I helped repair hurricane damaged houses with two transgendered carpenters clad in matching hot pants.
  • On a whim, I randomly entered a local hot dog eating contest at the county fair. I won by a large margin.
  • All of the money I make from this blog is used to fund my death ray project. Don’t worry. I don’t make any money from this blog and progress on the death ray has been slowed due to my preparation for one of the many possible coming raptures.

  • The first time I was on an airplane, I had to jump out of it. The parachute worked.
  • My favorite color is purple.
  • I’ve hated every American beer that I’ve tasted. I have described the taste as, “carbonated cat urine.”

  • Wife and I met in high school, but we didn’t date until years later. She thought I was weird back then too.
  • Jail isn’t as bad as they say.

  • I was once propositioned to work as a male exotic dancer.

  • I think I technically still work at my last job. I didn’t quit. I just stopped going one day. I hopped on the plane to Europe without so much as a, “bye, see ya later!” I should probably call those guys just in case there’s a search party out there somewhere.
  • I can play the violin, viola, cello and bass. I am equally bad at all four. I’m serious. It sounds like a baby being hit with a pillowcase full of cats.
  • I love to cook and I’m actually pretty good at it.

Wow, it’s really hard to make up stuff about yourself.

I also received the Liebster Blog award from Scriptor Obscura. Fortunately, this award doesn’t require me to divulge any more personal information.

Again, I am so pleased that Scriptor Obscura liked my blog enough to give me this award. The award is German and has a special place with me as an American transplant living in Germany. So again, thank you Scriptor Obscura for your nomination.

Between the two Versatile Blogger Awards and the Liebster Award, I think I have to nominate a bajillion* other blogs.

*(adj) a lot; a metric crap-ton.

So… here are my nominations for both awards. Feel free to accept one or both!

Boggleton Drive

Reasonably Ludicrous

whatimeant2say

 Father Trek

 History Guffaw

 Insanity Aquarium

Laughter is Catching

Pretty Feet, Pop Toe

Hurray for sharing. This isn’t a blog. Sharing just makes me happy… moving on.

Last, but certainly not least, Miss D. over at Miss Demure Restraint awarded me the Humorous Blogger Award.

Miss D., thank you for your nomination. It means a lot to get this award as it is my very first humor award. With this award, the recipient must write about their personal relationship with humor, display the award and then pass the cat’s ass on to one other deserving blogger.

I nominate M. Rae over at Peas and Cougars to receive the Humorous Blogger Award. I’ve been trying to give her an award for quite some time now, but it appears that everybody keeps beating me to the punch. If you’ve been living under a rock and have not visited her site, please correct this immediately. Peas and Cougars is a delight and you won’t regret stopping by unless you have a medical condition that makes laughter painful.

So, what impact has humor had on my life?

I had a pretty bad childhood.  It was hard growing up as a street urchin in Victorian-era London, but I made it through.

I often used humor and my own wild imagination as a form of escapism. I spent a good part of my early life inside my own head or nose-deep in a book. My social skills were never very good, but I worked hard to develop them. I’m 27, and I think I’ve finally discovered that, in spite of everything that I’ve experienced, I’m still that nerdy, funny kid at heart. This blog is the product of that recent discovery and I hope you like it.

THE END

P.S. Thank you everyone for your support of this blog. I had no idea it would be as popular as it is.

P.P.S. I also had no idea that you guys liked bad drawings so much.

52 thoughts on “A Major Award(s)”

  2. ROFLMAO!! I almost peed myself with the unicorn cartoon!!! Then to make matters worse, I almost lost it again with the wizard on the sofa!!
    You’re freakin’ hilarious! All these awards are well deserved! It’s nice to be recognized when you have a talent!
    And I will say it was nice that you didn’t thank everyone on earth like your producer, make up tech, the writers, you mom, God, your high school teacher for giving you an “A” in science, your gym teacher for telling you to never give up, the store keeper for your first job…etc.
    I can’t draw to save my life! Your cartoons are wonderful, not crap! OMG, that unicorn is just hilarious!

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  7. Congratulations on the awards, and thanks for my nomination! It is both a suprise and an honour to have been nominated by such a grand blogger as yourself. And in celebration, I’mma eat craploads of cake. You have made my evening. Sir!

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  8. I will have to look at the blogs you recommend one at a time because that much humour needs to be spread out over a few hours. Or days even.
    Thanks for the recommendations. Congrats. You are my humour hero of the day.

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  10. The drawings in the post are awesome. Congrats on being popular. And I’m now going to spend the rest of my life searching for photos of your exotic dancing days that I’ve decided are all too real.

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    • Thanks. 🙂 I was debating whether or not to mention my years as a cook at Hooters. I thought it might be perceived as a bit misogynistic though. Good luck finding those photos. They’re buried way back in my sordid past. 🙂

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  12. Wait, so giving you awards means we can tell you what to do?
    Awesome!
    I hereby grant you the Giving Jacob Spire Lots of Money award!
    (Hooray you!)
    All you need to do in order to get the award is give me lots of money! That’s it!

    (Oh, please, God, make this work…)

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  17. Thank you, sir, for the award. Much obliged. I’m not sure if I’m prepared to write out sordid details about myself (I teach high school. I tried to keep my blog from my students, but they found me, the sly little buggers. Curse my narcissistic impulse to put my real name right on the front page of my blog…)
    But I’ll be giving you a shout out in my next post. Funny stuff as usual!

    And the lyrics in “Rainbow in the Dark” are almost as awful as the synth riff that loops through the entire song. Hard not to love it though.

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    • It seems that you teach a smart bunch.
      Don’t feel obligated to divulge anything more than you already have. 😉

      Some songs are like a fine wine or an exquisite caviar, but sometimes you just need a greasy cheeseburger complete with synth riffs.

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  18. You invited me over here to collect my awards (i’m not being modest, I’m claiming both) and I’m suddenly faced with one of the most provocative images I have ever laid eyes on. You, naked on a chaise longue. I’m blushing, you saucy little tinker! I think it’s all in the coquettish angle of the hat.

    Big love, as always.

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    • Ha ha! I had no idea the naked wizard would be such a hit. I think I’m going to draw all of my characters in the nude from now on. 🙂

      On second thought, that’s probably a bad idea.

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    • I’ve never refused free candy! 😛 That’s how adventures* start.

      * Looking back, I think it’s this pattern of behavior that has given me so many unique experiences throughout my life.

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  21. Well, hello! Did I hear you say that you live in Germany? Hm, maybe I just read it somewhere? Anyway, aren’t you just the luckiest person in the whole universe?
    I invite you over to check out my blog http://islandmonkeys.wordpress.com where I am trying to come to terms with having to live as a German in the UK. For the time being. The living, I mean, not the coming to terms. Or maybe that too.
    Oh yeah, and I wanted to point out how helpful and interesting your posts are. Not for me, obviously. For the spambots, silly! Und tschüß.

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    • Real funny blog you have there. 🙂

      I do feel like spam bait though. 😦 I think it’s the tags that I use. One of my upcoming post will be about zombies and I dread how many spam hits I’ll get as a result. 🙂

      Haben eine gute woche. (my German isn’t nearly as good as yours.) 😉

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  22. LOL! I DO love the bad drawings! Except they aren’t bad… well… they are, but that’s what makes them good. They’re good because they’re bad… kind of like the hat on the naked wizard.

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  23. Hey! Nice work – multiple congratulations are in order, one for each award and one just for the heck of it!

    And may I say this part of the post:
    “I often used humor and my own wild imagination as a form of escapism. I spent a good part of my early life inside my own head or nose-deep in a book. My social skills were never very good, but I worked hard to develop them. I’m 27, and I think I’ve finally discovered that, in spite of everything that I’ve experienced, I’m still that nerdy, funny kid at heart.”

    Except for the age being 27 instead of 28, this sounded like something I’d write! 😀 Keep writing and enjoying yourself, life’s too short to bother with anything else!
    Cheers.

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    • Thank you, Spider42. 🙂

      I think you’re spot-on. I’ve spent a lot of energy just trying to be happy and I think I’m finally getting there. Thanks for reading and keep writing. 🙂

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  24. I’ll admit that the first time I just skim through the post to chuckle at the images and also the second time. Reading the text comes third followed by two rounds of admiring the images again 😀

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