NOTE: The WordPress software doesn’t like this post for some reason, so I had to put little dots on the left side of the post to get the spacing that I wanted.  Please do your best to ignore them and sorry for the distraction.  Now, back to our regularly scheduled program.

.

Friday was a very special day. On Friday, I received a most prestigious award. Mr. Russ Nickel over at Reasonably Ludicrous chose me to receive the coveted 7 x 7 blog award.

.

His 7 x 7 award was represented by a cheeseburger. Each blogger can choose to represent the award however they desire, so I (in true nerd/ mad scientist fashion) have chosen to represent it as a nuclear warhead.*

.

 *fun fact: 7 x 7 = 49. The Scientists working on the Manhattan Project referred, in shorthand, to plutonium as 49. That’s why this award is depicted as a nuke, hurray for trivia!

.

Quite frankly, I’m honored to even be featured on the blogroll of a comedy duo as spectacularly talented as Russ and Sam. To receive the award, well it… it choked up the old underwhelmer.

.

.

I had to stop work on my latest spells for a few hours because I was all verklempt.

.

I was writing my “thank you, I’m not worthy” response to Russ and Sam, when I noticed that my G mail inbox was increasing in size at an exponential level.

.

And then I saw it… a simple letter from the WordPress branch of the Illuminati  stating that I had been Freshly Pressed. I opened up Live, Nerd, Repeat and the entire internet spilled out onto my humble little page.

.

It was like coming home from work and flipping on the lights to a surprise party full of thousands of invisible, enthusiastic strangers.

.

.

Once the general shock had worn off, I began responding to all of the comments that were now flooding my page (I’m still sorting through everything, by the way.)

.

The comments have been very nice and supportive (with the exception of a few grumpy bears) and I felt nothing but joy as I respond to ever single one of them.

.

I began thinking about how much of a coincidence it was that I had received the 7 x 7 a few hours before being Freshly Pressed. I decided to get to the bottom of this.

.

After careful research, I have found the connection and I can explain it to you now…

.

…WITH MATHEMATICS!!!

.

Now, who’s ready for a boring math lecture?

.

.

Don’t worry, it’s not that bad. You ready?

.

.

Well, by God, we’re doing this anyway.

.

7 x 7 = 49. I only have one award, so we’ll divide 1 over 49.

.

¹⁄₄₉ = 0.0204081632 6530612244 8979591836 7346938775 51 (that’s 42 repeating digits.)

.

There are 42 positive integers that are less than 49 and co-prime to 49.

.

Multiplying 020408163265306122448979591836734693877551 by each of these integers results in a cyclic permutation of the original number with exactly 42 digits:

.

020408163265306122448979591836734693877551

        × 2

——————————————————————-

040816326530612244897959183673469387755102

.

And

.

020408163265306122448979591836734693877551

        × 3

——————————————————————-

061224489795918367346938775510204081632653

.

…etc.

.

This means that 49 and 42 share a constant and immutable connection.

.

42 was Douglas Adams‘ favorite number.

.

Douglas Adams is referenced numerous times in my post about aliens.

.

The WordPress Illuminati must have processed this logic chain through their Freshly Pressed post-finding computer, which of course, caused it to explode.

.

*I assume that the computer would look like HAL 9000.)

.

When they traced back the reason for the explosion, they would have found my blog.

.

It’s either that or they just randomly read my post and thought it was kind of funny, but that’s not nearly as interesting as my unreasonably convoluted conspiracy theory.

.

So now I’ve solved the mystery as to how Freshly Pressed is selected, but that isn’t what this post is about. This post is about the 7 x 7 award.

.

Now it’s my turn to carry out my sacred duty as outlined in the 7 x 7 manuscript (I assume there’s manuscript somewhere.) Here are my answers to the seven questions… with pictures!

.

Most Beautiful Post: Tom Collins vs. Pretty Much Everything Else. This is a post that came out much better than I had anticipated. I was working with some new techniques with the illustrations and I was pleasantly surprised with how the end product looked. The post also had one of the highest concentration of pictures out of anything I had made in quite some time.

.

.

Most Popular Post: What to Do if You’re the First Human to Make Contact with Aliens. This was a crazy coincidence that this post erupted at nearly the same time I received the 7 x 7 award. I think that Russ Nickel is a good luck charm. This post has made all of my previous days on my stat bars shrink down to nothing. I think I got something on the order of a bajillion* hits on this one post.

*(adj.) meaning a lot, or a “crap-ton.“

.

.

Most Controversial Post: I am a Video Game Savant.  I made a reference to autism in the post and I know that it’s a hot-button topic with a lot of people. As a humor blogger, I can pick and choose my topics pretty freely, so I’m probably over-conscious sometimes. It’s amazing what some people can get worked up over though. I think it has to do with the fact that tone and context are harder to discern over the inter-webs.

.

.

Most Helpful Post: I think the What to Do if You’re the First Human to Make Contact with Aliens post might actually help people. I know I sound crazy, but if the scenario ever plays itself out, at least the person abducted would have at least thought about the subject recently. I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t help out with avoiding probing though.

.

.

Most Surprisingly Successful Post: I sound like a broken record, but again it’s What to Do if You’re the First Human to Make Contact with Aliens. Somehow, the WordPress people decided that it was funny and put it up over an entire weekend, much to my surprise.

.

.

Most Underrated Post: Winston.  It’s kind of sick, but I thought that a post about accidentally urinating all over a kitten would have people commenting (or at the very least, condemning me.) Maybe I just remember it being funnier than it actually was. On second thought, it was pretty funny when that pee-soaked kitten fled and hopped onto the bed with Wife.

.

.

Most Pride-worthy Post: My very First Post.  I actually had no idea how I was going to go about this blogging thing when I posted it. It was just a few simple lines that outlined what I thought (at the time) I would do with my blog. I sat on it for nearly two months and then I just decided to do a post about my horrible, fat, and disgusting cat.

.

.

Wow, that was hard. So now, it’s time to pass the baton. Here are the other blogs that I choose to receive the coveted 7 x 7.

.

Miss Demure Restraint: Known as Miss D. to her friends, Miss Demure Restraint is the author of countless amazing posts. It doesn’t matter what topic Miss D. covers because I know that she will make me laugh, think and then laugh and think again. She never fails to be insightful, inspiring, and deliciously sarcastic. Miss D. sets the bar very high and you would do well to get on her good side before she is crowned, “Queen of the Writing Universe.“ It’s only a matter of time.

.

History Guffaw: History is one of my favorite topics and Guffaw101 is an outstanding professor. The Guffaw never ceases to be hilarious, informative and completely out of left field. What’s more, is that the Guffaw is updated every single day, without fail. I’m not sure how Guffaw101 does it, but the results are spectacular. Please read, you won’t regret it.

.

Pretty Feet Pop Toe: This is the home of the finest witterings I have ever seen. What are witterings you ask? Never you mind that. All you need to know is that Pretty Feet Pop Toe will leave your sides splitting in fits of laughter. Her surreal and perceptive take on the mundane will simultaneously stimulate your imagination and your funny bone and leave you begging for more. Do pay her a visit, but don’t make her mad. You might wind up with your eye poked.

.

P.S. I would have included Peas and Cougars, but Russ Nickel beat me to it already. Sorry M. Rae. For what it’s worth, I still think your blog is top-shelf A+ in my book!

.

P.P.S. As fate would have it, Peas and Cougars nominated one of the blogs that I was going to add. Well, here’s my nomination write-up for Angry Pear although the official award comes from Peas and Cougars. You clearly have amazing taste, M. Rae.

.

Angry Pear: Drew McKevitt illustrates pears here. This may not sound entertaining at first, but these pears are amazing. The artwork is absolutely beautiful and the anthropomorphized pears are quite the take on still-life, if I do say so myself. Furthermore, the pears often fly into fits of anger for unknown reasons, which only adds more flavor to this very rich and well-composed blog. My hat is off to you, Angry Pear!