What Twilight, Dating and Wife’s Job Search Have in Common.

Wife has been looking for a job for the past few months. Watching her efforts and looking back at my own job hunt, I’ve decided that looking for a job is a lot like dating when you’re over 40; everybody’s really desperate, but they’ve been burned too many times in the past to commit. As an added bonus, all parties come with their own emotional baggage.

There’s also the added difficulty of looking for a job in the Northeast. Looking for a good job in New Jersey is like finding a viable mate at Comic Con.

Should have gotten the number of that guy in the Spider Man costume.

Wife has gotten a few offers from a few different potential employers that she’s had to turn down. The jobs just weren’t good enough for her. They would have been the dating equivalent of a hobo.

This has been highly frustrating for us so far. It hasn’t been without a few laughs though. By far, the funniest job offer has been the insurance sales company that has been inviting her to seminars and informational briefings.

Extending the dating metaphor, this company’s displayed interest in people is a lot like the plot from Twilight; a powerful immortal being that is inexplicably and exclusively infatuated with a Mary Sue (I can’t even remember her name she was so uninteresting). It’s all entirely too good to be true.

Wife went to one of these seminars and they brought in their multimillion dollar winning insurances sales force and explained how all of the fifteen random attendees were the perfect ones for the job.

Kudos to Wife because she figured out the whole situation and discovered the vampire parallel very quickly.

So Wife wisely told Edward that it wasn’t going to work out.

She’s still looking, but, being the swell guy that I am, I’ve put together my top three choices to help direct her.

#1. Time Traveling Vampire Hunter.

#2. Naughty Nurse Assassin.

#3. Certified Public Accountant.

The last one is a compromise. That’s a word all you single guys should learn if you want to be a great husband like me.


P.S. Wife got a job this weekend!

P.P.S. No, it doesn’t involve skimpy outfits and monster slaying; that happens after her six month evaluation period.

28 thoughts on “What Twilight, Dating and Wife’s Job Search Have in Common.

  1. Looking for a job that doesn’t include asking “would you like fries with that?” has definitely got to be ranked the most depressing activity in the world.

  2. Congrats to your wife for landing a job. She should have stuck to killing vampires, though. Think of all the loot she could have taken from their lairs…

  3. “There’s also the added difficulty of looking for a job in the Northeast. Looking for a good job in New Jersey is like finding a viable mate at Comic Con.”
    Don’t you know it!
    Ya know they train people to tell potential employees how wonderful they are and that they’re the chosen ones! Isn’t that just sick? Mind control!
    Love your Pikachu drawing….actually I love all your cartoons! The nurse is a crack up!

  4. Grats to your wife! FInding a job is damned hard these days!

    …and since she’s employed now, think I could take job #1 on your list?

  5. So in six months your wife becomes a Slayer? 😀
    Nice post, loved the references in the last panels – the booth and elle driver.
    Congrats to the wife.

  6. Nurse, nurse, nurse! Seriously, I could finally whip out my Munchhausen’s by Proxy and really express myself. Although it does seem like you get good nap time with the last option… I am presently jobless for a few months prior to starting back to university so I’m presuming I’ll get lots of opportunities for napping while that lasts :-). Naps make the world a better, happier place…

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